Yo dont text me then not text me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize