Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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