WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
