I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
