Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
