i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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