People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
