Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize