Don't EVER smell your tampon
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
