I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
