he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
