First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Pants are for mortals
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I party with great urgency now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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