I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
