So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize