yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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