forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
