Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
