You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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