champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
