is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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