she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just invented taco cereal.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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