I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize