I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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