i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
