took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
