it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize