of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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