So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
