The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
