just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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