do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize