drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
