Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize