i don't like sucking hair
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
