He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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