wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
