I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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