she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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