would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There's always time for handjobs
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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