Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
