But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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