So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
