i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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