fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
