the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How does one acquire holy water?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
