You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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