hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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