shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
