I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
