That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize