The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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