He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
