I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You can't special order awesome
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize