What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
