??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
