remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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