I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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