Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
