This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
