found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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